Late-night TV hosts mocked President Donald Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen on Wednesday after a judge sentenced him to three years in jail after accepting a plea deal for multiple crimes.
On Wednesday, a federal judge in New York sentenced Michael Cohen to three years in prison Wednesday for crimes including tax evasion, breaking election law, and lying to Congress about previous business dealings in Russia.
The Late Show host Stephen Colbert started by giving Cohen some advice for his time behind bars.
“Now a little tip for Mr. Cohen,” Colbert began. “First day in prison, you walk right up to the biggest guy in the yard, you pay him $130,000. Boom. Boom!”
Colbert followed up with one of Cohen’s statements where he expressed regret for covering up Trump’s alleged “dirty deeds.”
“Recently, the president tweeted a statement calling me weak, and he was correct, but for a much different reason than he was implying,” Cohen said. “It was because time and time again I felt it was my duty to cover up his dirty deeds.”
“And evidently, you suck at it,” Colbert responded gleefully.
Over on Jimmy Kimmel Live, the ABC host suggested that Cohen had wrongly taken the blame for Trump’s crimes.
“Just to recap, Donald Trump cheats on his wife while she’s at home with their infant son. Donald Trump has a long-term affair with a Playboy Playmate. Donald Trump illegally pays the both of them off, and Michael Cohen goes to jail for it,” Kimmel said. “That’s like if Johnnie Cochran did time and not OJ.”
“Cohen doesn’t have to report to prison until March 6,” he added. “So he is still available to host the Oscars if they’re looking.”
Over on Late Night, Seth Meyers suggested that rather than running for re-election, Cohen’s sentence may mean he is instead “running from the feds.”
“Forget running from re-election in two years, Trump might be running from the Feds,” Meyers said. “The FBI’s going to bust into a cabin in Montana and find Trump with a Unabomber beard surrounded by Burger King wrappers.”
Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon also joined in the mockery, inferring that Trump’s former staffers tend to be criminals.
“If you’re watching from home, you’re in for a great show,” Fallon said. “If you’re watching from jail, you probably used to work for the president.”
“Cohen said it could have been worse, I could have been sentenced to be White House chief of staff,” he added.